In one of Lancet's late editions*
Research done by three clinicians
Offers us a bit of news
That ophthalmologists might use.
Their work is not just anecdotic:
Instead of drugs antibiotic,
Now used routinely as protection
Against unwelcome wound infection,
They substituted heat atop
The laparotomy site pre-op,
And they also used full body heat
To make pre-op drugs obsolete.
So…
It seems to me that we might try
A thermal pre-op for the eye,
With prophylactic drugs unneeded
If the eye has been pre-heated!
Medication bills would plummet
HMO's would profit from it
A sure-fire win-win situation
For HMOs and for the patient.
The patient's in a heated tub,
Good for the eye—but here's the rub:
For the surgical site to be accessible,
Must the surgeon, likewise, be undressible?
Since eye surgery is not X-rated
Hot tubs must be eliminated—
A shame to throw cold water on it
But the brass, alas, put thumbs down on it
Yet the research must eschew tepidity
For an eye heat trial to have validity
This dilemma must be why I can't
Obtain an eye heat research grant
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